I know I have learned to look at the problem I am facing in the eye and do everything I can to solve it. I will tell myself that I have learned a lot. I have survived. I have become much stronger than I was before.
This is the reason when I wrote this my life is like a caterpillar, there is saying where I have seen somewhere yet remembers it from time to time.
“ Shed your burden like a caterpillar unfolding its wings to become a butterfly.”
I cannot help myself to thank the challenges. If it is not because of it, I will not have blossomed to become much tougher person.
There is this one experience that I cannot forget until today I still do talk about to people who knows me. It was the betrayal of my uncle who cheated my dad in the business. Can you imagine how is it when your own bloodline cheating you into hundred thousand of debts that cause our family to break.
During that time, I was full of hatred and will not forgive him for whatever he has done. That feeling prolong for many years. Until I learnt, to hate and not forgive people is very painful. But I did forgive. Maybe the religion that I am in has taught me to. I was a convert 7 years ago. Because of that, I thought out of respect for myself, I need to distance myself from anger and spit.
Today, my believe is forgiving the one who has hurt me is not a gift to that person who hurt me but rather a gift to myself. You feel you have set yourself free. In order to come out to the other side, I had to pass through pain, the endless tears, the fight with myself, anger that was in me most of the time and the thought that I am not worthy.
The journey was excruciating but worth it. You learnt to be strong. There were sacrifices that I had to take to survive through.